"QUICK CHANGE"

   AN ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

   BY

  RYAN & LAMB

BASED ON ORIGINAL STORY BY

  JAY CRONLEY

EXT. FRONT OF BANK - DAY

Car is seen stopping in front of bank. A man on passenger side

gets out and enters bank while car remains double parked. The driver (GRIMM) looks about.

INT. BANK - DAY

It is fairly empty. CAMERA CLOSE UP of second teller: a young, attractive woman. As she looks up we can see she is startled.

SHOT of masked man (TELLER'S P.O.V.) with a gun pointed at her. He doesn't say a word.

WIDER ANGLE to include teller and robber. ANGLE FAVORS teller as she starts putting money on counter. She looks around wide eyed. No one else has noticed the masked gunman before her. As the robber is collecting his loot some of the money falls to the floor. When he bends over to pick it up, the button pops off his pants.

ANOTHER ANGLE - he tries to carry the money, hold his gun and his pants up at the same time. But, his pants descend, making walking impossible. As he bends to retrieve them his mask slips and he drops his gun. The money goes everywhere. ANGLE guard by the door. He hears the noise and looks up. Seeing the man in the center of the bank, his pants down, money scattered and a gun laying nearby the guard hits the alarm and easily apprehends the robber.

EXT. FRONT OF BANK - DAY

Grimm is seen outside in car. Hearing the alarm, he strains to see inside bank,, waits a few beats, then drives away hastily.

MUSIC STARTS

CREDITS RUN

INT. SMALL APARTMENT - EVENING

Modestly furnished. A man in his mid-thirties (Grimm) takes a beer from his refrigerator. A TV can be head in b.g. but, the words are inaudible. Opening the beer, Grimm walks from the kitchen to the living room and sits down on the sofa in front of the television. ANGLE - television (Grimm's P.O.V.). Police Chief Rotzinger is just finishing his account of today's bank robbery attempt.

ROTZINGER

(Smugly)

And I repeat, security is excellent. We have not had a bank robbery in four months and I defy any other large metropolitan area to match our record.

The television screen goes black. SHOT of Grimm sitting on the sofa. He holds the TV remote control in his hand. His finger is still on the "off" button.

MUSIC STOPS

CREDITS STOP

INT. POSH ART GALLERY

WIDE ANGLE - control room where guard, armed to the teeth sits monitoring TV screen. The door opens, we see great legs only.

DISEMBODIED VOICE

Ooh, sorry, I thought this was the ladies' room.

As guard is distracted we see something going on, on one of the TV monitoring screens. An identical photo of the room is placed in front of the camera. Door closes. The guard shakes his head and looks back to the TV screens. Suddenly from the screen before him comes a loud sneeze. The photo shakes violently. The guard looks hard in disbelief. He presses the alarm button.

EXT. GALLERY - NIGHT

An alarm is heard and the doors suddenly burst open as the crooks, three men and a woman, rush out. It is raining. We recognize Grimm as he slips and about loses his manhood on a parking meter. He is carried off to the -get away cat and 8af 6ty by a huge, almost seven foot figure and a medium sized man.

MUSIC STARTS

MORE CREDITS RUN

INT. GRIMM'S APARTMENT - EVENING

Grimm is seen sitting on his sofa watching the evening news. Newscaster, Lake Bodean is giving an account of a foiled robbery at an art gallery. ANGLE - television (Grimm's P.O.V.)

BODEAN

and Police Chief Rotzinger was reported as saying that the robbery attempt at the art gallery tonight was just another stupidly foolish ...

The television screen goes black. ANGLE - Grimm sitting on his sofa with a beer in one hand and the TV remote control in the other.

MUSIC STOPS

CREDITS STOP

INT. DARK BARN - EVENING

Three crooks, two men and a woman, are standing around an obviously affluent, portly kidnap victim. only shadowy figures of the crooks can be seen. One looks to be an average size man and the other is almost seven foot.

MOUNTBATTON

(The Huge man)

So how much do you think an oil company president is worth?

PHYLLIS

Boy Grimm, using a horse for the money drop was brilliant, brilliant. You can't follow a horse at night or bug him.

EXT. POLICE CHIEF ROTZINGERIS CAMP - EVENING

Several police are standing around a horse. Rotzinger, obviously the one in charge, is having a midget cop strapped to the side of the horse. The midget cop is protesting.

BACK TO SCENE IN BARN

MOUNTBATTON

Don't you think an oil company president should be worth a million, (pausing) maybe?

GRIMM

Shut up. (Straining to listen). Is that the horse?

The three peek through a crack in the door. ANGLE - Outside (Crooks P.O.V.). It is very dark and a heavy rain is starting to fall.

GRIMM (O.S.)

God, it's raining AGAIN. (We see a flash) oh no. Not lightning!

ANGLE - Clearly see horse in light of flash, panicking, rearing, and falling. Second flash shows midget cop screaming, pinned under the horse.

MOUNTBATTON

O my God! The damned horse has squashed a cop!

GRIMM

Squashed hell! He's killed the damn cop. Let's get out of here!

They depart, having first grabbed one hundred ten dollars from the hostage's wallet.

INT. CROWDED LAS VEGAS POLICE CONVENTION - EVENING

Rotzinger is the featured speaker. He has just finished his talk and there is much cheering, laughing, and applause going on. The midget cop, in a full body cast, is by Rotzinger's side. There are TV reporters, bright lights, etc.

INT. SCHOOL OF POSITIVE THINKING - DAY

Zoom in on enthusiast, Dr. Roundtree, as he grips the lapels of Grimm's jacket (as seen from rear).

DR.ROUNDTREE

You can do it!

 

GRIMM

Do what?

 

DR. ROUNDTREE

IT! You can make money, you can be a community leader and help stamp out smut.

 

GRIMM

Yeah?

 

DR. ROUNDTREE

You can lose weight, read faster, sell more, make love longer ...

 

GRIMM

Yeah. Yeah.

 

DR.ROUNDTREE

BUT, YOU HAVE TO HAVE GOALS!

 

GRIMM

Okay. I understand. I can take charge, be firm and march towards my goals. (He grabs Roundtree by the neck). The first of which is getting my god dam fifty bucks back from this side show!

Grimm is hastily ejected from the meeting.

LAST CREDITS ROLL

Music starts from within Positive Thinking class. We can hear Frank Sinatra singing about an ant moving a rubber tree plant.

ANGLE - Grimm standing outside the door peeking back in through the crack.

FADE OUT

EXT. LARGE GRASSY PARK - DAY

There are benches along a walk. ANGLE - Grimm in a contemplative mood, sitting on a bench, quite lost in thought. Mountbatton

walks up and sits down beside him. Grimm looks up and then back down.

MOUNTBATTON

So, you been working on any more ideas?

GRIMM

Yeah. Sure. (He pauses and looks at Mountbatton). Look. Maybe I just don't have it.